After radio silence
Thoughts on teaching
This was the first day of school. 7 years ago, I was in their shoes. How quickly does time seem to race on by and how amazing that journey has been. Sometimes I wish I can tell my students that it will be all worth it, if they make it so. Make the best of it. Make it beautiful, funny and creative. Hell, I didn’t even think I was going to be here but here I am. Teaching, believing, and hopefully inspiring.
I don’t have to “work” so hard, I don’t have to try but I don’t think I can expect the best of them unless I do so myself. I may get burnt out. I may lose hope. But it is better to have lived fully than live the shadow. To experience all the deep shades of emotion no matter how ugly or terrifying. To keep your head high no matter how uncertain the future may be.
Celebrate small accomplishments
This past weekend, I finished my grandmother’s portrait. Last year, I traveled to Panama for the first time in 10 years and she slipped me her old photograph weathered with age. For some reason this woman never seem so frail and old as she did then, this woman who helped raise me as a child so very upset that she had let this photograph get to this point. And all I could think of was not being able to do it. To fail her expectations of how the final retouch looked like. I had never accomplished anything this detailed before.
I don’t have to finish this, I don’t have to try, I could have made an excuse but that’s unfair to myself and to my abuela.
And here it is. Still with mistakes but I had to call it done. Hopefully this weekend I can scout a place that will do a nice print and frame; have the completed product done before she arrives to the States.
And what I’ve learned
Weddings are overrated. It better be worth my stress and sanity (and randomly disjointed thoughts).